I celebrated 2 Christmases (yeah that is how you pluralize Christmas, weird looking right?) in Moldova and Romania. Both were extremely memorable. The first one was very unique because one of the U.S. embassy workers invited us over to celebrate with them. It was awesome because her place felt like home to me, except for the armed guards, cameras, and high security. The picture of me on the stairs, is the ambassadors home. We had a ton of fun, and most importantly got to get out of the cold and relax to some Christmas tunes. We bought these matching vests just for it, and then we burned them after realizing how silly we looked haha

The second Christmas I spent over there was in Iasi, Romania, after a very long trip from Moldova down to Bucharest for administrative stuff -- and then back to Moldova, and then over to Iasi for a Christmas conference, all in two days. It was intense! We also sang some carols on the street - you can see me there with my flute thingy, I was huge.

The thing I look forward to most about the holiday season is Christmas Morning! I remember when I was little my Dad would get up at like 4 am and have everything ready for the waking of the rest of the family. The camera would be up on the tripod pointed at the tree and everything would be laid out perfectly for me and my brother to sit down and divide presents between each other. I remember one morning I got a motorcycle for Christmas and sure enough, I come downstairs into the living room to a motorcycle sitting in the middle of the room. (I'm sure my Mom was happy about that) But my Dad was great at prepping everything for the best morning ever! That might be where I get it from... Shortly after opening all the gifts Mom would start the ever so famous Cinnamon Rolls. We have Cinnamon Rolls every Christmas morning for as long as I can remember and still do to this day. We have to drive 2 hours on Christmas morning now to get Cinnamon Rolls but it's still so worth it!! Anyway, here is a pic to sum up how I feel about Christmas morning.. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!

(I got a new peacoat this Christmas morning and was obviously very excited about it!!)

As we all know those last couple weeks of November through that first week of January can get pretty hectic. Growing up both sides of my family were pretty massive, it meant traveling to and from just about everywhere. From Northern California...to So Cal...to Arizona.. to Utah..to Idaho...then back round home. Travel whether it was in the backseat of the car or catching flights at 5AM. White Elephants, Secret Santas, all of it. I remember not understanding the significance of Christmas given I’ve never identified as religious in any way, I started to see it when I was able to see loved ones I hadn’t seen since last Christmas...Hearing everyone’s laughter, my baby cousin’s giggles, my grandpa telling the same awful 5 jokes over and over to different groups. I remember a crowd surrounding my aunt’s pellet stove, rubbings their hands together waiting for dinner to be ready. I remember welcoming new family members ever year, meeting them for the first time in their christmas pajamas.

At one point when I was considerably younger I remember getting a job with my family’s business, saving up and buying my best friend this beautiful sterling silver turquoise necklace (she loved it), I was so proud of myself. I was ten. For quite some time I had a concept ingrained in the back of my mind that Christmas = gifts and I grew a slight obsession with idea of THE perfect gift, especially after that necklace. For years I was trying to compete with myself and if I didn’t get the right reaction, I knew I had to do better next year. I had forgotten what Christmas was really about. 

Now, with the little family I have left, it's not quite the celebration it used to be. Having my family being only my fiance and our chosen family, its left little room for celebration. I’ve started to come to terms with that and realized the ways we celebrate holidays can change, that our perception changes.. And that's okay. With no parents left to tell the secrets of Santa, we enjoy ourselves in different ways. Whether it means sharing a cuppa, getting the cheap but SOOO cozy fuzzy socks from the mall, or lying under sherpa throws with cats in our laps and a good book. It means the celebration of one another and recognizing the privileges we have. Christmas now means recognition for me, of what we have. Of what others don't. Of everything. I challenge you to recognize the things that you do have this holiday season rather than what you don't.